I love veryone at Bonita...I really do...With all my heart and soul...I went there today, since my school had half days on Mondays (should I make it a habit?),so I left home and went to them. I love them so much, you have no idea. They are my life, family, and more...I wish I went to Bonita. I walk into Olympian High and think that I stick out like a sore thumb, like I won't belong. Sure I have accentineces and a few freshmen under my wing, but it doesn;t mean I BELONG there.

At Bonita my soul and heart is just attached there. At that school I can be me, I can be with the people I love and would die for. Everytime I walk past those gates and into the arms of my friends, I want to cry. It's my home...And I was finally there.

And I told my parents about how I don't like the school, and how I at least want to transfer back senior year. They can keep me sophmore and junior year, but I will never go senior year. I tell them that I want to be in a school I want to graduate from senior year, no matter what. I'll walk to school everyday (since I don't really live that far away, honestly) if I have to. We have a serious discussion, and my mom LAUGHS at me. My father is pissed off. Everytime we talk hes making sarcastic comments about how horrible my life is...

My mom is being a bitch, too. Every comment is about how fat, how ugly, and how irresponsible I am. i'm such a fucking disgrace to them...I hate them so much...I hate my family, even though I'm visiting them in December. All they're gonna do is look at me and laugh. The retarded disowned cousin...I hate them...I hate them so much.

And I think Patrick hates me again. Whenever I'm with him and try to make him happy, he ignores me, scowls at me, or kinda just pretends hes paying attention. He doesn't care. every time I try to open up to him, he shuts me down with a "Oh well you shouldn't care what other people think, I don't." I really want to cry in front of him, but then he'd just laugh at me again...I can't stand it. He's using me!! I wanna leave, but I don't wanna go...

So to those at Bonita who even bother to read this, and to those even not at there: I love you so much. You're my life, and without you guys, I would be at the bottom of my pool, rotting somewhere in the canyon, or still being scraped off the highway. I love you...I love you, I love you, I love you.

Dammit...I told myself I wouldn't cry...;_;

I love you, Bonita kids. I'll come back, I promise, on my life I will always be there for you and protect you. With my life.